7 MISTAKES LADIES MAKE WHEN THEY SEE A POTENTIAL HUSBAND MATERIAL
1. BEING COMPLETELY INDIFFERENT, DOING NOTHING
▪️Many ladies believe that “…if a guy likes me, he’s gonna do everything to get me.” In a way that’s true, but that’s not the whole truth. A lot of young men are shy and totally terrified at ladies, and always find it difficult to approach them, especially the good and spiritual ones. Some loose their breath at the sight of a lady, words fail them and they forget what to say. Most of the eloquent, sharp, smart and vocal guys are gamers & players and only want to flirt. Most good and spiritual young men are shy.
Not doing anything when you like a young man puts you in the disadvantage. Do something. First, take time to pray about it! Put on a smile always. Make eye contact. Be accessible. Be where he can see you and approach you. Don’t be harsh or rude. Don’t always feel there must be a reason for someone to talk to you. Pace down when he approaches you. Initiate a conversation. Be careful that you don’t initiate a relationship or marriage. Let him do it if he’s interested. You can start by asking, “Hey, what’s that book about?” If he’s interested, he’ll pick it up from there. Be mature about it. Thinking that a young man will cross seven oceans just to get you doesn’t always work. Make your paths cross.
2. SHOWING SERIOUS DESPERATION, DOING TOO MUCH
▪️Your emotions can really betray you. So be very careful not to show serious desperation, being overly excited about the person. Don’t do too much. Learn to manage your emotions. You may think you’re being subtle or pious, but the young man can read more than you think you’re displaying. Don’t laugh at things that aren’t funny. Even if it’s funny, don’t laugh too long. Laughing about a joke cracked three hours ago is a sign your emotions are betraying you. Don’t always be at his page. Don’t be too aggressive. Don’t be the one texting, chatting or calling him all the time. Let him do the chasing if he is interested. Just make yourself available and accessible, but don’t push. Don’t start giving him money. Don’t start buying him gifts. Don’t take him out for lunch. If you’re the one always pursuing the relationship, an emotional predator, a player will take advantage of you and will never value you, and will eventually get used to you doing the chasing.
3. BEING UNWILLING TO CUT OFF AND WALK AWAY
▪️If you like a young man, you must make up your mind that if it’s not working out the way you anticipated, you’ll walk away. You must be strong enough to march the brakes of your emotions. Reason being that, if you let yourself go too far, even when the young man is short-changing you or is not respecting you or it’s not going as you planned, if you’re too involved emotionally, you will be too blind to see. You must be ready to walk away. You can’t love at first sight. You can only be attracted at first sight. Love develops over time. At first sight, you may like their hair, charisma, voice, or how they walk or talk. That’s not love. But by the time you get close to them, that’s when you’ll know whether you love them. When you get attracted to a young man, be ready, if it doesn’t turn out as expected or you find out that you both aren’t compatible, to let go. In this mind-game, whoever is willing to let go is in control, but when you’re desperate to remain there, then you will be controlled.
4. FANTASIZING TOO MUCH, ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT HIM.
You met a man not long and you are already imagining having an affair with a him.
You are quick to demand that he goes to see your parents, that will make him suspect something.
So don’t flirt with someone you barely know in the name of Love.
5. BREAKING ALL RELATIONSHIP PROTOCOLS
▪️As a lady, when you like a guy, there is a high chance you will throw away all the relationship protocols you’ve learned. This is dangerous. Many ladies in marriage that are not working today laid the foundation by how they did the whole relationship process. Don’t throw away protocols because you like the young man. You start having sex with him before marriage even when your senses tell you premarital sex is a terrible sin. You start giving him money and buying him gifts. Or you enter into a relationship without defining it, yet you are already lodging in his house, hanging out too much together, and having sex.🤦♂️ Even if things are working out perfectly as you wanted, still follow due process or protocols you’ve learned over the years.
6. FALLING IN LOVE BEFORE GETTING TO KNOW THE YOUNG MAN VERY WELL
▪️All of us go through that phase when we like someone before getting to know them, probably because of their gifting, abilities, appearance, charisma, etc. That’s not love. You haven’t known the real person. You may be in love with their gifts, appearance, how they walk or talk, etc. But the real person is inside that body, and you can’t marry their body. You marry the real person inside. So get to know them before falling in love with them. What is their character trait? Are they loving, caring, faithful, etc? Do you get along with him? Unfortunately these days, people fall in love with marriage and then marry any person instead of loving someone before deciding to marry them. Don’t jump into love before knowing the person. For some, it’s only on Facebook, WhatsApp or Instagram that they have seen the person, but they’re already in love.🤭🤭 Differentiate the things you want from the things you need. The things you want are those things that easily attract you to someone, and they are not so important. The things you need are those that you discover only when you get close to the person over time, eg. Mutual commitment, respect, hardwork, etc. These are most important.
7. CUTTING OFF FROM ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERS
▪️Most ladies, when they like a young man, cut off from people who tell them anything contrary to their emotions. They don’t want to hear any other person’s view or opinion, even if it’s the truth. Must times it happens unintentionally and unplanned because she’s trying to protect that feeling. She cuts off family and friends, and just wants to focus on the young man. Sometimes the young plays along and isolates her from her family and friends in order to control and manipulate her. Don’t ever cut off from your family and friends just because of a relationship. Your family have been here before the guy and might still be here after the guy. They love you conditionally, but you don’t know what this young man’s intentions are. You need friends and family to tell you the truth, give you sanity and to make sure you’re doing the right thing. Some ladies go to the extent of cutting off from their pastor or church B.